It's not a big secret around here that I love my plants more than I love the humans around me (okay this was over the line, I take it back :D), but what I love even more is adding green touches in my house without torturing any of my green leafy buddies. So, I was ready to jump on the "framed leaf diy" train, but I was standing by Monstera with the scalpel in my hand, and this fatal moment I couldn't just chop a leaf off her. I mean, would you like me to cut one of your fingers and frame it?! (ok what's wrong with my metaphors today?). So instead...Read More
The 2016 unfortunately blasted numerous artists sending them to neverland. One of them was my one and favorite David Bowie. For Bowie, who left, and for my love of big offbeat earrings, I made these stunning, tribute, thunder glitter ones (that clip ons, cause I have no holes on my ears). They don't go unnoticed at all, so I think my goal here is reached!.Read More
I will repeat it forever and ever; plants are my favourite decoration elements for any space. I love them evergreen and lush. And who, anyway, is not lured by the emerald green, shiny leaves of Monstera deliciosa plants? For those who want to buy, or already have a Monstera, here are all my tips for caring and propagating a healthy, happy plant.Read More
Ah! 2016 is almost over, and the ideas for 2017 are already flowing. But I need your help in this. If you could take some time to fill in this survey it would mean the world to us, as we really want to know what do you expect from IWOI, and what you would like to see more of around here.
Only the last 2 questions are required (all the others are optional, but really useful for us) and they take 1 minutes, tops, to write. The whole thing takes less than 3 minutes (I calculated it), so pleaaaase!? :)
Creduts | Text & Photography: Despina Kortesidou
Today I will explain you everything you need to know about the 3 main categories of nutrients in our food, which ones should be consumed in smaller quantities, and why vegetables should be the kings of your diet. This might be a -kind of- long lesson, but it will build strong foundations of your knowledge about what is healthy and what is not.
So, let's do it!
PS. In this lesson I will use a lot of terms, in the easiest way- don't worry, but in case you forget what something means press Ctrl+F (in windows) or Command+F (in Macs), type it in the little window that will appear and find it in all the spots it appeared.
The two big categories of nutrients: macro- and micro nutrients
People tend to get lost in understanding the nutrients that their food contains. Let's dive in the two big families of nutrients: the macro- and micro-nuntrients.
A small introduction on micro-nutrients
Micronutrients are what are commonly referred to as "vitamins and minerals." Micronutrients are different from macronutrients because they are necessary only in very tiny amounts. Nevertheless, they are essential for good health, and their deficiencies can cause serious health problems. Micronutrients include such minerals as flouride, selenium, sodium, iodine, copper and zinc. They also include vitamins such as vitamin C, A, D, E and K, as well as the B-complex vitamins. Vegetables and fruits contain big amounts of them, so they are considered good sources of micronutrinets and fibers. Are you curious about their other benefits?
- Maintain a healthy body: Vegetables contain low amounts of fats and calories and are good sources of dietary fibers. The low fat and calorie content of vegetables makes them a perfect substitute for foods with higher calorie content, such as carbohydrates and proteins. Owing to their high fiber content (fibers slower down the digestion), raw vegetables leave you feeling full for longer and hence reduce food cravings. Also, raw vegetables contain higher amounts of antioxidants. These antioxidants include vitamins C and E, folic acid, lycopene, alpha-carotene and beta-carotene. Vitamins C and E neutralize free radicals and protect your body cells. Lycopene- a naturally-occurring pigment in colored vegetables such as tomatoes and apricots -- boosts your immune system and also lowers the risk of cardiovascular disease. Folic acid is necessary for the formation of red blood-cells and proper functioning of the brain and nervous system. Beta-carotene, found in brightly colored vegetables, protects the skin from the sun’s harmful ultraviolet rays. It also slows down the aging process and reduces the risk of diseases associated with old age.
- Keep your heart healthy: Eating foods rich in fiber is associated with a lower risk of developing heart ailments. The water soluble fibers found in vegetables, such as gum, pectin and psyllium, form a gel-like matrix. In your cells, this gel absorbs bile acids and bad cholesterol (Low density cholesterol -LDL) and eliminates them from your body. Since bile acids are formed from LDL cholesterol, your body tries to replenish them by using the LDLcholesterol available in the bloodstream. If LDL cholesterol circulates in the bloodstreat for long, it sticks on the walls of blood vessels (like dirt in pipes), making them narroer and leading to cardiovascular diseases.
- Lower the cancer risk: Extensive cooking lowers the volume of anticancer compounds known as isothiocyanates and glucosinolates in the brassica family of vegetables. Eating raw cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli is a good way to lower the possibility of developing cancer.
My conclusion would be to consume 3-4 servings of vegetables and fruits per day. Try to consume vegetables of different colors and different families, as each one is rich in different micronutrients and you need a little bit of all.
A small introduction on macro-nutrients
The three main macro-nutrients out of foodsare the carbohydrates (from bread, pasta, rice etc.), the proteins (fish, eggs, meat, lentils etc.) and fat (oil, butter, nuts etc.) and you should receive all three of them daily from your diet. Let's see each category separately.
1. Dietary carbohydrates (carbs for shorter) are combinations of sugar units (called glucose) that come in both simple (glucose, fructose, sucrose) and complex (polysaccharides; dietary starches) forms.
- Glucose is the basic structural unit that all carbohydrates consist of; think of glucose as the single lego brick, with which you construct everything. During digestion of food, all carbohydrates are broken down to glucose. Glucose is absorbed in our gut and it is the fuel that produces energy that our body uses right away for allour cognitive and body functions; think of glucose like the charcoals that feed the fire.
- Now, listen to that: if the energy demands are low, glucose is not used to make usable energy, but it is stored in the fat tissue (adipose tissue). Because, fat tissue is nothing else than a storage of energy for when we have accessto food, see how wise your body is?
- Something to be cautious about: during starvation periods, your body can convert its saved fat into glucose and generate energy to move, etc.. However, the brain uses only the glucose from the carbs of each meal. If you are not eating enough carbs and you have headaches, lack of concentration and bad mood, now you know the reason.
- Also, let me introduce aterm that I will use a lot from now on: the glycemic index. The glycemic index is the measure of the speed at which glucose is released into the blood stream after digestion. Big amounts of sugar are toxic and inflammatory for our body. Insulin is released in the bloodstream to lower down all this circulating glucose. So, in a nutshell, foods that have high glycemic indexes, result in spikes of insulin too. In will explain in a bit, why such types of food are catastrophic for a healthy diet. How can you lower the release of the glucose in the blood? By eating food that contains fiber (whole grain carbs, but mainly vegetables and fruits) or by combining the carbohydrates you eat with rich in protein and fat food (proteins slower down the glucose release, slowering the release of insulin and, in a nutshell, keeping you full for more time).
2. Dietary proteins are vital for the well-being of the body; they are the structural units that our body uses to build and repair muscles and to perform many other important functions. All thousands of human proteins (maybe 50.000) consist of different combinations of 20 types of amino acids (the primal structural units of proteins). Our bodies can produce only 11 amino acids on their own, and 9 of them have to be obtained through food. However, if proteins that we obtain through food are not used immediately, they are broke in amino acids and they are used for energy. And if they're consumed in excess, they can be stored in fat tissue, as well.
3. Dietary fats are separated in 2 big (natural) families (unstaurated and saturated ones) and one artificial man-made one (trans fats). For these categories I will talk in depth, a bit below. Fats can also be broken down into smaller components and be used for energy. Or, they can be stored in fat tissue, depending on our energy needs.
Fats are the most energy dense storage form, providing nine calories of energy for every gram. In contrast, carbohydrates and proteins provide only four calories per gram. For the record: alcohol provides seven calories per gram!
So remember: No matter from which macro-nutrient they derive from (carbs, proteins, fats), any calories that aren't converted into usable energy, will be stored in the body for later use.
2nd lesson: The truth behind carbohydrates, fats and proteins
So, now that you know the main ingredients of your food, do you feel ready to make healthier food choices? The answer is not yet, but you are almost there. What you lack is the knowledge of how many of these vital macronutrients (because all of them are absolutely vital) are optimal for each meal. Because, you know, not all nutrients are equal especially when it comes how they affect our diet. So let's dive on that; you will love this part, I think, as it contains tips you can apply in your everyday diet.
Let's dispel some myths regarding eating carbohydrates, proteins and fats:
The truth about dietary carbohydrate
In the recent years, a lot of attention has been drawn on how healthy carbohydrates are. There are lots of popular diet trends that encourage us to drastically reduce the carbohydrates in our diet. However, there are 3 different families of complex carbohydrates and we can't treat them all the same:
- Starches can be found in starchy vegetables like peas, corn, lima beans and potatoes, dried beans, lentils and peas, in grains like oats, barley and rice. They have a low glycemic index and they are really healthy. With that said, they are optimal sources for carbs.
- Sugars can be found in natural sources like milk or fruit, or in processed ones like in sweets, beverages etc., and they have mostly a high glycemic index. It's always better to focus on the food types with natural sugars in, if you have low sugar and you need a snack to boost your energy.
- Fibers can be found only in plant foods so there are no fiber in animal products such as milk, eggs, meat, poultry, and fish. Sources of dietary fibers include beans and legumes, fruits and vegetables, whole grains (whole grain pasta, cereals, breads, nut). They have a low glycemic index, and together with the starches the highest quality carbs to consume.
So just limiting all carbohydrates, just because sugars that are found in processed foods are bad for our healthy is a complete joke as you can understand. At the same time, some of these low-carb diets seem to suggest that protein and fats can be eaten freely. But a diet that's very high in animal protein and contains no whole grain or not enough fruits and vegetables could leave us with serious problems in the long run. In fact, the category of carbohydrates includes a wide spectrum of foods. We aim consuming the ones with the low glycemic index, the ones which are really important for our health.
Whole grains like brown rice and rolled oats are carbohydrates that provide our bodies, and our brains more importantly, with a usable source of energy. In these foods significant amounts of fibers are also present. As I mentioned before, during digestion the carbs from such foods will be broken down in glucose. But in the same time, these foods contain fibers; will bind on glucose and slower down its release in the bloodstream. That's why you should eat food rich in carbs AND fibers.
Refined sugars that are found in white bread, white pasta, white rice, sweets or beverages, don't have any or only a few fibers inside. These types of foods have a high glycemic index, meaning that they will lead to a spike of insulin. Eating foods that are refined, especially highly processed carbohydrates, can result in an earlier return of hunger (as 2-3 hours after eating, all glucose is taken out of the bloodstream) and a tendency to eat more frequently (usually bigger quantities too), and in the long run creates the risk of developing obesity and/or diabetes type II.
For people who are struggling to eat healthier and/or to manage their weight, or their blood sugar levels, eating foods that have a low glycemic index is especially important. However, choosing low glycemic foods is generally a good idea for all us. So when we talk about dietary carbohydrates we're actually talking about a very broad family of foods. Some that can be harmful to our long term health, and some that can support it. Learning how to choose the right foods within each nutrient category is one of the keys to long term success.
The truth about dietary fats
For decades, the scientific community obsessed over the damage fats can cause to our health; should we worry about fat, should we worry about carbohydrates, which nutrient is worse to eat in big quantities? Big corporations bribed titans of science to shift the blame on fat instead of sugar. This change of focus on what is healthy, is very convinient for all corporations that produce snacks, sweets and beverages, low on fat but fuuuuull in sugar (high glycemic index, remember?). This war against fat led to an enormous increase in the availability of fat free and reduced fat foods. But in spite of this, obesity rates continue to rise. So, should we reconsider the guilty role offat per se (It's the the oversonsumption of sugar, that we have to blaim fellas!)?
Today, rising awareness about the difference between the so-called good fats and bad fats is absolutely vital. Dietary fats can be divided in two big families; the saturated and the unsaturated fats 9and one fake one; thans fats).
First there are the saturated fats. These fat molecules are saturated with hydrogen molecules, which means that they can lie flat (think of them like pencil structures), and pack together densely. Saturated fats tend to be solids at room temperature and can be found in animal fats, like lard and butter.
The second family consists of the (natural) unsaturated fats. These fat molecules are less saturated with hydrogen (than their saturated cousins), which doesn't let them to stay flat; they are like branches. This means that these fat molecules don't pack together as tightly, leaving most unsaturated fats in the liquid state at room temperature. They naturally exist in olive oil and others oils, flax seeds, chia seeds and hemp seeds, walnuts, mixed greens and nuts and avocado.
Omega 3 fatty acids are a special kind of unsaturated fatty acid, and they're found in high concentrations in fish oil, in nuts, flax seeds, and other vegetable oils. Omega-3 fatty acids are the only kind of fatty acid that the human body can't make, so they're essential for our health and they need to be consumed via the food we eat.
Trans fats are man-made unsaturated fats & they're not real unsaturated fats. They are chemically manipulated saturated fats into unsaturated ones. These are the fats found in some margarines and in deep frying oils used in almost all fast food restaurants. These ones are really nasty! Their structures are very unstable and they flip easily to the trans orientation, rather than a cis orientation (=the orientation of all natural chemical molecules in space). And this is where we get the name trans fats.
Trans fats are problematic for our health because they increase the amount of bad cholesterol (LDL cholesterol) in the blood and they lower the amount of good cholesterol (HDL cholesterol). By doing this trans fats promote to formation of arterial plaques and increase the risk of heart disease.
While saturated fats have also been shown to contribute to increases in bad cholesterol, they haven't been shown to lower good cholesterol or to contribute to the development of arterial plaques as significantly as trans fats.
So, what's the bottom line when it comes to foods that contain fat?
Probably the most sensible food recommendation is this. Enjoy reasonable amounts of foods that contain mostly naturally occurring unsaturated fats like those found in olive oil, nuts and avocados. Avoid all foods containing trans fats. And limit your intake of foods like red meats that are high in saturated fats.
The truth about dietary proteins
In general, animal sources of protein like fish and eggs provide all of the essential amino acids in high enough concentrations that these foods are called complete protein sources. We can always replace the red (beef) and white (pork, poultry) meat with fish. Fish is (especially the fatty ones: anchovies, sardines, herring, mackerel*) and other types of seafood are very important parts of a healthy diet; they are high in proteins and low in saturated fat, rich in omega-3 fats, Vitamin D and selenium.
In contrast, plant based protein sources like beans, lentils, nuts and tofu tend to be incomplete sources of protein. It might seem that since plant-based proteins are incomplete in their nutrient content that they're nutritionally inferior compared with animal-based proteins. But in fact the health benefits of substituting plant-based proteins for animal-based ones, ideally a few days a week, this far outweighs the risk of falling short on essential amino acids. Plant-based proteins can be combined with other foods to provide a complete amino acid profile. In fact, many traditional food combinations like corn and black beans or rice and lentils are based on the principal of combining complementary proteins
*: Salmon is also a fatty fish full in omega-3, but since in the last years the need for salmon is multiplied, fishing wild salmon is depleting the natural resources. Also many salmon farms feed the fish with steroids; so that they grow faster (consumption of extra steroids is considered carcinogenic).
+ Unsaturated Fats
- Unsaturated Fats
Your challenge from now on: The elements of a great meal
Let's talk about how the perfect meal can take from 10 minutes to as much you want to spend on it (no more excuses to go for “fast” food again).
- A great meal consists of: lots of vegetables, small portions of carbs with low glycemic index, plant or fish-derived proteins and unsaturated fats sources.
- Always start planning the meal from the point of view of vegetables; decide on the type of the vegetables you want to eat and the way you want to prepare them (in a salad, stir-fry, steamed, grilled?) Once you decided on your vegetables, pick a source of protein: plant proteins or meat proteins? Substitute the meat of your diet with fatty fish, nuts, seed and other plant-proteins. Approach the meat as the side dish and not as your main course. Protein done? Think about a source of complex carbohydrates; starches, fibers, or sugars. Or all of them? Always go for whole grains, don’t settle for processed versions (eg. brown rice instead of white, quinoa, whole grain bread instead of white).
- In the morning/afternoon add in your diet 1-2 servings of fresh fruit and nuts, instead of highly processed snacks and sweets.
- Try to prepare your meals with fresh and natural ingredients and try to stay away from frozen pre-made ingredients, which contain more than 5 ingredients.
So that's all! I hope I didn't burn you with information today. :D
I believe that if you understand and apply today's lesson, you will feel your diet swifting to a healthier one in a week or less friends.
Do you think you can implement some of these tips in your everyday cooking? Let me know if you have questions and/or if you want to discuss your progress.
Credits | Text & Photography: Despina Kortesidou, Τελευταίο γραφικό: Harvard Medial School
Hello friends. A while ago I shared a mini lesson for creating better, healthier eating habits among my mail subscribers, but many of you lost them. So here they are, also in the blog! Would you like to jump along?
A little introduction
Let me introduce myself: I am Despina (heeeey!), a 1,66 gal that weights most of time around 47-49kg. All my life I was in the lowest edge of the optimal weight spectrum, but I am not anorexic. I know that for some people it is a struggle to eat healthy, but never for me. My parents introduced to me “always salad on table”, “eat your fruits”, ”fish and lentils 2 times a week” very early in my life, so now this eating routine is a second nature for me. I am also, a “salt before sugar” person; I prefer to have popcorns over chocolate.
I, often, hear from people how lucky I am for being slim like a stick, but stick life has so many side effects. If I don’t eat well one day (enough carbs) I feel super exhausted, I blame the lack of fat on mefor being so easily cold (and I live in Amsterdam, damn it!), the trousers fall from my butt without a belt etc. However, what is fascinating is that my metabolism is trained for my eating habits and works very efficiently. Everything is matter of conditioning (and some good genes). But hey! Don’t frown, I know you can’t change your genes, but you can definitely change your environment and build new healthier habits. And that’s exactly what we are going to do in this course in the most fun and easy way. Boom!
But let’s clear something once and for all. Your body is fine, and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it. It might fel less familiar during some periods, and you will try to make it feel "yours" again. You shouldn't feel embarrassed or peer pressured to do so, every change regarding your body should have one and only goal; the best for yourself! Basically being skinny, curvy, or in the middle, is wonderful, if you feel good in your skin! I would, only, advise you to lose some lose weight, because having extra kilos, isn’t translated in eating all the healthy stuff in bigger quantities. Very often having extra kilos can be associated with severe malnutrition.
I am making this long intro to make clear, that having extra kilos because of carvings next to a healthy diet, is different from eating unhealthily and having those extra kilos. We are going to embrace the first situation and address the second one. Period.
So in the next 14 days we will create together healthier eating habits. We will do so by celebrating quality food and balanced meals! There are some easy tips that will help you make healthy food choices consistently. My goal is making these tips so easy for you to use, so they pop in your mind every timeyou go for shopping in the fleamarket/supermarket, instead of sitting in there as nonapplicable theoretical knowledge.
My experience taught me that people get lazy with adopting a healthier diet, because they don’t have the willpower or the patience to wait for months, till they see the first results. But, hey listen to me, this is a wrong mindset! Eating healthy affects first and foremost your brain, your most vital organ! Change your eating habits and you will observe an immediate, positive effect in your mood, productivity creativity, energy levels and general well-being. In this course I will show you the route in between the mountains, and if you keep up with all the tips I will teach you, you will definitely reach the valley of“seeing a change in your body image too”. (Please bear with my comparisons, there are gonna be a lot like that. 😃 )
To sum all my chattiness I can only advice you to: Eat real food, not junk food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
And to summarize the myths that we dispelled here:
- Restrictive diets don’t work, because you have to count calories one way or another and reduce the amount of food you eat. So, let’s keep in mind that deprivation is unhealthy, and stress your body. Plus, exercising your willpower in every meal will exhaust you. That’s another reason diets fail, you get tired trying to reach something you feel it’s beyond you.
- Thaaaaat’s why you have to see food as a celebration of the senses! *drum roll* Oh yeah! Indulge in a variety of food groups, in fresh fruits and vegetables, see cooking as time to forget about daily stresses and renew your energy with good food and company. Think of food as a cultural need, not only as a physical need.
1st lesson: Getting ready
So after being very babbly, let’s go to the first big lesson; do a clean sweep of your brain andyour kitchen. Let’s kick start the initiation of building healthier eating habits, by creating a ritual.
- Go through all the food shelves and storage and remove all sugary drinks, cookies, candies and processed cereals. Gone, bye, we won’t miss you!
- After you do so, take your partner/family/friends for dinner in a healthy restaurant; make a toast in your new healthy commitment that you made. It’s always good to have a support group, these close friends and family will help you stay in track if they know your choice in food from now on.
- The next day, go to the supermarket and replace the tossed food with real food; fresh, natural food, not highly processed food.
And now I said supermarket: Supermarkets are not your mum’s loving hug, they are enterprises, whose only goal is scoring higher profits. With that in mind think; will mainstream, conventional SMs support your healthy-food buying choices, and care about your long-term health? The answer is no.
So next time you go to the supermarket, try to look through the marketing tricks, colors and fancy packages, and focus on the product itself. Look for real food. But how can you distinguish processed food from real food? Look at the list of ingredients darling! If there are more than five ingredients (the real food ones excluded), you can be sure that this food is highly processed and unhealthy. Processed food has ingredients that prolong the shelf life, so these types of foods can be kept for a longer time without going bad. These foods are really profitable, compared to the onesWhy would this matter? Well, long living “food” is more profitable for manufacturers and supermarkets, as the food waste is eliminated. So they have an extra reason, to produce this shit, oops excusez-moi.
So let’s remember this rule of the thumb: the quicker a type of food spoils, the healthier, unprocessed, packed with only natural ingredients it is.
Homework for home:
That’s all, we are done. Well almost; here is your challenges and HWs for the next days:
- Start a healthy eating ritual:
- Clean the cupboards of processed food
- Take your loved ones out, commit in your new eating ritual
- Next time you go to the supermarket: buy food with 5 ingredients or less
- When you go to the supermarket focus on buying vegetables and fruits:
- Try to incorporate one serving of vegetables and fruits every day (in breakfast, lunch or dinner.
- Tip: the greater the variety/colorsof the vegetables (this variety ensures more groups of nutrients), the better. BUT we are gonna talk about that later, too.
So, that’s it for today. I hope you are as excited as I am. See you in the next little lesson my little cherries!
Credits | Text & Photography: Despoina Kortesidou, Illustrations: moosekleenex
For a while now I wanted a coffee table made from wooden crates and a plexiglass surface. And then it struck me; what if I was taking advantage of the plexiglass’ transparency to infuse some plants in the coffee table? And in case you don’t know that already, my home’s plant threshold is constantly circumvented. :D Since the boxes I wanted to tick were somewhat particular; it was highly unlikely that I would find such a coffee table(at a reasonable price) like the one I was dreaming. But I managed to gather all the supplies that I needed, and I made it happen! Ah, I love it so much, it consists of two wooden crates (like the ones farmers carry their vegetables in, in the flea markets), a piece of plexiglass and –obviously- a bunch of plants to reach the Jurassic Park awesomeness I wanted (I put some dinosaurs too in)!
- two wooden crates (like the ones that you carry fruits in, mine are 50 x 20 cm.)
- white paint
- atlacoll glue
- a 5mm piece of plexiglass (ideal thickness for holding daily objects of 3-4kg without bending, mine is 70 x 50 cm)
- black plastic bags
- plumber’s tape
- plant soil
- fast crawling plants
- When you find two crates in the size of your choice (their color is not very important as you can paint them later), take them home. The only limitation is the height of the bottom, wooden panel, attached to the bottom of the crate. It should be high enough, to create a space with enough space to fit enough soil for your plants, and space to hide also the edge of the black bags that will include the soil (mine panel has a height of approx. 10 cm).
- Turn one crate upside down and apply a generous amount of atlacoll glue on its base. Place the second crate with its base facing the glue. Place inside some heavy books or other heavy objects of 3-5 kg and wait until atlacoll glue dries completely.
- Choose the color of your choice (I chose white plastic paint) to the paint them, or leave them in their natural color. If you paint them, let the, also dry enough before you continue (the drying time depends on the type of the paint).
- Cut some black bags in the middle and make a "nest" in which you will add the soil. Make sure to tape any leakage holes with waterproof plumber’s tape. Use crawling plants that will fill the gaps quickly, and will start hanging from the crates’ edges (so beautiful!).
- Add a little atlacoll glue on the top of the four ends of the crate, and align the plexiglass piece on them. Place the heavy objects on the glue spots, wait 5-6 hours until everything is dry.
- Your garden is accessible from the sides, which is handy for watering and pruning the plants. Make sure not to over water your plants; the lack of drainage holes can easily cause roots rotting. Decorate the table with some cute plants (plantception) and candles, but avoid bulky objects (e.g., disks, books that "cut" the light your plants need desperately).
If you try to do this DIY and you want to share it with us, upload the photo in Instagram, Facebook or Twitter with the #iwoiclub hashtag, so that we can see it. We will publish our favourites in Instagram! :)
Credits | Text & Photography: Despina Kortesidou
Welcome welcome! Today we are talking about peer pressure, how we all want to be a part of groups of similars and about social rejection.
If you prefer to read this Brain Juicing episode, I have you covered; find it below.
Have you ever been to a dinner with friends, not very good ones that you know as the palm of your hand, but ones with whom you can break the ice quickly? In such a group of people that the in-between dynamics aren’t formed yet, it is mathematically certain that someone will attempt to match similar personalities. There will be a passionate statement from someone about how "I love to eat nutella right from the jar with a spoon." Those who agree with this position will take a stand next to him, creating an enthusiastic beehive and praising the delights of nutella. And then someone will throw oil on the fire by saying that “I think that peanut butter is better,”, only to collect around him the ones that feel the same. One group will start mocking the other, and if there is one indecisive person, both groups will bombard him with pro-nutella or pro-peanut butter arguments. At first glance, the "glue" keeping these members together is an insignificant culinary preference, but the feeling of excitement and satisfaction of belonging to a group of people, who share something in common, is so generalizable. In the end, there will be a cynic that neither is intrigued by such a game nor does he observe the social interest of it. He will state with apathy "I do not eat sugar.”, and will trigger a massive explosion against. This game is like a small ritual in many dinners, and this is how groups are created and spread more or less.
Such dinners are so delightful because they generate very often the most enjoyable conversations too. It is the most wonderful feeling to belong to a group of similars, in a group of people who share the same range of fundamental views as you. Personally, many times I find it tough to grasp the popularity of an opinion diametrically opposite of mine. That happens simply because I am surrounded by people like me. When I'm with them, I'm a flashlight and a mirror at the same time, our ways of communication are very common and our behaviors reflect on each other. And sometimes you meet people in your social circle with an intellectual horizon slightly wider than yours, and you customize your mirror, you become a sponge that absorbs what this person has to offer to your horizon. Such interactions are such great inspiration; it is like reading a book that brings your world upside down. However, being surrounded by similars can work in opposite ways too, it can become a brake.
In such a dinner we were wondering, what is the factor that motivates incredibly, shamelessly rich people to still chase more riches? When you have everything, and even more, when you can open champagne for breakfast, and fly around on your private jet, why is it so important multiply these little green paper babies per millions every day? What possibly can motivate you to spend millions to satisfy your narcissism, when you could cure tuberculosis in Africa, let’s say, with the same money? Is it the pleasure of taking competitors out of your game, is it the absence of the level of moderation and what has value, or is just greed and arrogance? Or all together? Or nothing from the above mentioned? A friend of mine, we will call him Paco for the sake of our discussion, suggested something really brilliant. He said "it is your lobby that motivates you". He threw in the conversation as if he is drinking malt whiskey with the golden boys of Wall Street and knows them so well. But seriously now, he is damn right I think. "I can imagine them”, he said, “standing there in their expensive suits, mixing statistics and Dow Jones averages (damn if I ever understood what Dow Jones show) and boasting about how many millions they made this week. Our environment and our peers set a tremendous pressure for us to be acceptable.” Interesting, huh?
But since most of us will never reach these levels of wealth, let's go one level below, in a situation with which we can identify more easily. Let's go to the groups of two, in the couples. Why do so many people want to get married? Why aren’t they satisfied with the promise of their partner to stay together? For me -besides the spousal coverage that marriage provides you in the case of medical or insurance circumstances- it is the security that the institution provides emotionally. When you get married, you join a group of two, and we all want to belong somewhere. A significant portion of people is terrified with the idea of pending their life alone with nobody to take care of them. We have learned that we need to belong somewhere and be accepted very early in life, through our family and our first friends. Aren't many children traumatized by the need to impress or please their parents by taking decisions that don’t make them happy? A lot. And let’s not forget the stress in which many kids are exposed to in school when they don’t satisfy the whims of their “friends’”, and the public humiliation that comes after. You can see that the peer pressure is frighteningly real and very powerful.
I had the pleasure of meeting the incredible Dutch documentary filmmaker Coco Schrijber. Her personality is such of a powerful stream that it took only twenty minutes conversation with her, for me to have the feeling of being swept along, and being struck powerfully on the banks of my beliefs. For example, Coco works as much as she wants or has to every year and after that she stops to live the life she wants. What a powerful statement! Who could have the strength in the current, sickly, social pressure to, even, murmur that she doesn’t want to earn more and more money? The norms dictate us to be ambitious, to aim higher and higher the elusive and inaccessible peaks. The conversation with her was so enlightening, that I wanted to continue it by watching “First Kill”, her first documentary. It raises the question of why did the veterans of the Vietnam war killed for the first time back then. This documentary is a little gem, the answers of these people are so honest, and you should see this documentary. However, for the sake of our conversation I will answer here this question. It wasn’t the sense of survival, or protection, or fear that prompted them to do so; it was the peer pressure that was set on them by their environment. Imagine, a bunch of macho boys intoxicated by the arrogance of youth and alcohol, who landed in the horrible reality of war and began a bet of who will hit the most. The absurd in all its splendor, or as Nietzsche would say, “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”
As a biologist, I couldn’t avoid talking about how we are a combination of the genetic information we carry (in case you are not familiar with it: it’s the information transferred to us by our parents, as they took it from their parents and so on, which affects many of our traits) and of our environment. For sure we would end up as absolutely different people if we were raised in different conditions. Nothing in biology makes sense unless it is seen under the light of evolution, did you know? The bright biologist Dobzhansky said so, so let’s go back and observe us as species in our first steps on earth. The first people started as hunters and pack animals in the African savannas. Nowadays individualism is praised and rewarded as a great asset. However, the prehistoric man should stay with his herd. Otherwise, wild beasts would devour him. So, the brain networks of these early humans evolved to remind them of the consequences of the social rejection, a feeling of neccesity to stay in the team, otherwise you have to pay the consequences (a.k.a. death). These networks are preserved in the present human, and although we don’t hunt zebras in the savannas anymore(at least not in all continents or all places), we know that the beast that can devour us is still there; now it is a psychological one. It's crazy that our brains recognize the pain of rejection and the "wounded heart" as normal physical pain. Love and acceptance activate the same neuronal pleasure pathways as drugs or alcohol. And whether we go through a social or chemical withdrawal, the same neurons in the anterior cingulate cortex and the insular cortex are activated. The only way to feel better is to take back what will make the brain feel better, social acceptance or addicting substance.
Hence the need of belonging somewhere and the feeling of acceptance in a group of similars, is a nececcity. These are known in scientific circles or between high corporate executives and often they are used as a pressure tool. When you feel that you found your niche, it’s not, most of times, due to in-depth research about this group’s ethical principles, but because something you heard made a click on you. This creates the feeling of belonging with them. And out there in politics, in society, at work and friendly groups, there will be many people that practice this sport, of being likable. So wouldn’t it the best if we chose the people who surround us? Or instead of pushing ourselves to join somewhere where we do not feel comfortable, or accepted, internalize this need to be part of a team of similar, but choose them ourselves consiously. And as said incomparably hilarious Amy Poehler said, "Find a group of people that challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life”.
Credits | Text, Editting & Graphics: Despina Kortesidou, Photography: Alfred Eisenstaedt. George Balanchine’s School, New York City 1936, Life Magazine